Forever more in my heart you will be. Young and carefree as a squirrel in a tree. Running around with laughter and joy. Exuberantly being a boy. Never a thought of one careless mistake. Something left out of place created a huge hole in space. The night before ended like any other. Your forgetting that was accidental indeed. It wasn’t until the next morning light did the problem of that instant single hesitation cause such a drastic sensation. From innocent play turning to an ambulance life rescue. A year or more in constant care. One life in trauma while the other’s mind was in distress. Legs that no longer could obey and a sadness within from guilt and shame. A lifetime of the deepest regret. All from an accident that could have been avoided had a teenager thought it through. Life is very precious it’s true. But your life was so radically damaged that day. That guilt is something you never let go. Slow dancing in heaven is what I pray. A brother who took his sister’s motion away. A sister who forgave him from the start. Life imitates art. The art of forgiveness achieved at death. Lack of conflict as harmony is achieved. Rest in peace the story has been told. Blessed in records written for all. Be aware and alert. Listen and hear. Complete your missions and put dangers away. A lesson shared on the last day.
Lumiglow
What is this? She asked in amazement. You are shining as bright as the Christmas night star. It wasn’t surprising to witness the change. A lightened heart shines in this way. Removing the negative energy thoughts creates more space for pure pleasure shots. Bursting with simplicity is all she ever wanted to be. Yes the mirror returned the sweet profile. One of serenity filled with white light. Heaviness dissolved in a puddle of fake. Only God’s love can live in her spirit all other beings are simply illusions. Would you care to join her here? Practice patience and kindness is all that it takes. Nothing of monetary value has she. Her freedom comes completely free. Enjoy the time left on solid ground as her pleasure above has been permanently found. Come to me, she giggled in delight. It’s time to create the knowledge of sight. Inwardly gaze at the beautiful scene. The creation God created is meant to be loved. Run towards her with all of your speed. Welcoming peace is what you will receive.
Redemption
From the after and before came a knocking on my door. Hours spent in humble prayer always grateful you are near. Blinding sunshine and darkest night felt that something wasn’t right. Then awareness was exposed and my redemption did I know. Sweetest surrender at last was received as the deception was no longer intrigued. Deep breaths overfilled my lungs and out exhaled the pain of dung. No more tears or feeing sad. The action of release made me glad. Praises flowing from deepest depths. My friend, my path and my heartbeat all one. Beautiful peace from Gods blessed son.
Cycle
Traipsing through waterfalls and dancing in rain. Life offers showers of ultimate gain. Natures sheer power, breathtaking in might. Is the only truth, proven at night. Gentle breezes brushing tree branches. Earths fierce reminder with hurricane strength. All of our senses show without and within. Just pay attention to the environments pace. Living the life is part of this race. Nothing more secure than the root of a weed. Sunk intoxication of artificial breeds. The tighter the hold, the more toxic the mix. Adding purity, the perfect fix. Childhood to elder care is a very short trip. In between time used to reach the goal. Searching and looking to fill empty holes. Roaring lions and whispering doves. Both creatures come from above. Spices added to enhance the flavor often provide an odd aftertaste. It isn’t all about winning a race. Run as we May toward an imaginary finish line. Everyone reaches the end at their own recorded time. Kisses and hugs and punches in the gut. Everything is one big but. But I don’t understand, one might say. The inevitable question remains in tack. The need to fill that one sense of lack. The More disease surrounds us all. Eventually creates the last big fall. Lesson learned from today’s rant. Never believe that the end means so long. Life is a continuous cycle of song.
Another Day
In the end, all I can say is I was granted another day. Feeling the sunshine and salty air. Hearing wild bird’s singing with care. Echoing messages to others nearby. Letting their bird friends in on the news. While ever so gently I’m fighting the blues. Was it all just an illusion? The birth, the childhood and poof now its just gone? Why does nature seem such a cruel fate? Playing our emotions without any warning. Waking up suddenly in a new situation. No longer the person you were the night before. Grief has its moments that take our breath away. Not in that movie star love kind of thing. The shooting pain in agony pulling heart strings. Just go with the flow and let it just be. As reality strangles we try to break free. That face in the mirror no longer my own. Reminder constantly that you are alone. Justifying with non logical sense, that the missing you still cry’s in the night. Actually you are at peace in that heavenly bed while I’m still on earth wanting to be dead. There isn’t any point in pretending you’re here or hearing from someone that wallows in fear. The future will be what it ultimately is. No need to fret or worry in vain. Watching you die was my ultimate pain. So relish just another day just as it settles out to be. Possibly joyful or full of great cheer maybe just nothing but more of the same. Whatever it turns out be. Another day brings one more game. The dice keep rolling and landing randomly. Eventually we will all be set free.
Listen
Pulsating energy surrounding the body. Constantly creating a sensation of friction. Trapped within cycles the soundtrack repeats. Shaking, stretching and strumming along. The bodies own symphony offering its version of song. Listening intently to the swishing and bubbles. This vessel is speaking without use of the tongue. Each little atom creates the inertia that turned this molecule into a being. More than an experiment or explosion by accidental means. We are indeed created by the supernatural forces of our maker supreme. Ringing consciousness in and out daily. Hearing the music of our own hearts. Gurgling stomach indicates digestion. Our own small micro verses invite new life. A time for reflection and looking forward again. Listen to the body it’s your one true friend.
Beyond
Somewhere beyond then and forever the best is found. Floating effortlessly inside my mind. Memories visible on the horizon just out of my physical reach. Sweet glimpses of miracles that already occurred. You can’t take those away from me. Forever locked inside. Momentarily each secret unearths. Sparked creativity sprinkles moon dust in my path. Guiding me toward my own yellow brick road. Reminding me once again that All the world is a stage and each of us is our only leading person.
The years
I’ve breathed the fire and felt the freeze. Done all I could to please. Moments of deep sensitive care. Other ones in depths of despair. Forever seems such a frivolous word. If only your whispers of joy I heard. When painful moans became all so familiar, my heart began to sink in the muck. Longing for the days of old, I began a facade to create as bold. All I wanted was again your hand to hold. Once again our fleeting youth appears. Those many years of work and toil. We certainly laughed and built our dream. It was only shattered when the physical gave out. Enjoy your youth was a constant message. We certainly did, that’s all I need say. Thank God for the days of child rearing together. Our physical health didn’t get in the way. Mountains of adventure and experience galore. My career was our family. For that I adore. Whatever the future holds, this great mystery. I’ll handle it with dignity. Thank you for being the golden boy dream. Majestic, handsome king to my Queen.
Depth
Brilliant greens, blues and browns as the earth goes round and round. Each a blending of the next giving ever ending rest. Simplicity is natures rule as society deems life’s cruel. The answer isn’t complicated just overthinking is overrated. Birth and death and the in between. Not much else beyond the scheme. Creating much out of the same mud leads to intermittent crud. successes and deep dives in faith result in the happy place. Exploring deep in the abyss will reward with an empty kiss. Free your brain while feeling within. Let the soothing of the wind teach you how to live again.
Words of my heart
Words of my heart pour onto the page. Full of emotions from love to grief rage. Life threatening memories linger in my mind. The tenderest memories only for me to know. That angelic silver glimmer as bodies ascend. The looking upward as life drains within. Massive frustration going through the fight when the only option left was saying goodnight. My tears flow buckets while my body gives out. Nothing more to be done but to release the doubt. Bottled up words hidden deep in the throat. Fumbling fingers reach in the pockets of the coat. There in the deepest corner I feel the last tissue held when my heart surrendered. The words of my heart again remembered.
Jennystallent 